Category: internetting

Internet-culture related shenanigans or commentary.

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Context: this meme.

There are at least two layers of gay/queer/LGBTQ culture at work here.

So yeah, if you think the world revolves around your cishet ass, you’re gonna be lost.

And another reason to dislike Facebook regurgitating Tumblr posts.
A Toot

Before I nuked it, I got hit with one of those Facebook memories. As it goes, it was just a meme I SHARE’d real quick for two reasons:

  • it was from Final Fantasy X, one of my all-time favorite games
  • it was gay. as. fuck.

I vaguely remember the FF fan group it was (re)posted in, and to my delight a lot of my fellow queer fans came out to have a kiki and appreciate this piece of freakin’ art:

A freeze frame of Shiva, midsnap. Captioned with "The first time you summoned Shiva in FF X and she did Diamond Dust and with a snap of he fingers your heterosexuality was GONE and you were SHOOK and you KNEW you were gay and there was NO turning back..."

But, alas, the majority of members were a straight bunch.

And they were shook.

Beside themselves.

Confused.

Harshing our freakin’ vibe with their insistence that a meme has to make sense for them, damn it! "I don’t get it!" most of them whined. "I know lesbians exist but why would this make a man gaaaaaaay? Why do our male members like this meme?????? How would this make me gaaaay?" because of course the complainers were straight men and everything has to revolve around them, even shitposts.

I called that, up there, the Shiva Snap. When you just know.

It’s who drag queens strive to be.

It’s for those who are all the stronger for being in touch with their feminine side.

It’s for those that appreciate femininity, regardless of gender. Gender be damned, really.

It’s for that tumblr user who witnessed the sheer fuck yes slay in that summoning sequence and just had to share this gospel through Tumblr and to the world. Look at the notes on this motherfucker. Put some respect on sodomymcscurvylegs’s (user)name.

It’s for those that, if you asked them, they’ll tell you why The Shiva Snap got them, specifically, and it is a varied and nuanced thing that some blogger can’t possibly pithily summarize.

One thing is clear: It’s for the queers.

I got it. They get it. We don’t need a whole dissertation on it.

But if you didn’t (and still don’t) get it:

Don’t worry your goofy head about it. It’s probably not for you. 🙂

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Fun, excuse to be fun, fun fun fun, let’s get on with this silly list. You don’t need a whole paragraph explainin’ this shit, I don’t care what the SEO plugin says. pop culture

Revenge of the Fifth

When: May 5th, also May 6th if you’re extra evil

From: Star Wars

Nothing to see here. Cue hand thing.

Independence Day

When: July 4th

From: names-the-same-movie

Will Smith saved us from the aliens on this day!! Respect!!! He could have been at a BBQ!

Until America starts behaving I’m not celebrating that shit! Memorial Day and Juneteenth are more important to me, anyway.

Will Smith in the movie, captioned "4th of July, the day Will Smith saved us from the aliens.

Festivus

When: Dec. 23rd

From: Seinfield

I will have any, and I mean any, excuse to decorate with strange objects, complain, and straight up tackle someone. I also enjoy the anti-consumerism angle it could have.

Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born.

Towel Day

When: May 25th

From: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

I was enamoured with this series when I stumbled upon it in my high school library. And, you know, knowing where your towel is actually good advice… and more relevant the older you get.

TOWEL.JPG is here. Do you know where your towel is?

National Lazy Week

When: Jan 5th to Jan 10th

From: Garfield

As the name suggests, it celebrated being lazy. Garfield Wiki

That’s a message I can get behind. Also, capitalism hates it when we’re lazy. Cue the memes!

Felix the cat napping on a ledge, thinking "I'm not lazy I just don't like making profits for capitalists..."

Fade in the Water Day

When: Aug 5th

From: IRL

Fade in the Water. ROLL (ed up in the) TIDE. The Alabama Sweet Tea Party. The Montgomery Massacre. The Riverboat Rumble. The Montgomery Melee.

No matter what they call it, Black people are talking about the big fight between a group of white men who attacked a Black dock worker and the Black people who swarmed in to defend him. NewsOne

I love us Blackfolx. We can make a holiday out of anything. And I live for this show of Black solidarity we were witness to on that fateful day in 2023. You fuck around, prepare to find the fuck out.

MtG card for the Folding Deck Chair, a Legendary Melee Weapon. Damage 5, Speed 2, Defense 3, Range 1. Increase damage by 3 percent to targets in water environments.

And then you got the ones where I just make up, or do something different.

Dick Plate in the Lake Day

When: Feb 28th

From: Xenosaga

Actually, this was already a thing as KOS-MOS’ Birthday. But I was grasping at something I can do for the Xenosaga franchise. My original idea leaned heavily on a fairly popular snark thing and… uh, let’s say the source material for that didn’t age well. Soooooo I decided to use the first game’s release date and uphold that instead. It’s safer. Makes me cringe less.

…and I still failed that Will Save Throw Whatever DnD Thing because it must be snarked. Dick jokes!! There is an uncomfortable amount of phallic imagery in that game! Dick. Jokes.

Enjoy the YouTube Video my settings Won’t Allow me to embed. Just as well, really.

Macross Day

When: Oct. 3rd (Series), July 21st (DYRL? movie)

From: Macross

Unfortunately, I’ve yet to come across the MM/DD of when the alien spaceship made a dent in the Earth (please comment if you did!). You know I’ll celebrate the airing of the first episode, and the option of one of my favorite movies as a bonus. Party twice! If you make a Mean Girls reference I will slap you and Tina Fey.

Misa slapping Hikaru, implying that I will slap you like that if you make a Mean Girls reference

Calypso’s Birthday

When: whenever the hell you want

From: Our Flag Means Death

I’ve only down here because I’ve yet to see it around, but it should totally be a thing! (And this shows that I’m not in the fandom… I should fix that?)

Anyway! Want to throw a party? Have that nagging feeling that you need a reason to have a party, but can’t think of one? Here it is. Just say it’s her birthday. She has a lot of birthdays. And no one really knows when her birthday actually is, so no one can call you out on it. It’s a perfect concept. … I mean yes I guess you can use the air date of that episode, but where’s the fun in that?!

Additionally, dress the part. That means D R A G, lovely!

One of the crewmembers dressed in drag as Calypso

National Rage Week

When: third week of September

From: Me! (and Garfield– title is totally shambling around in its National Fat Week corpse)

It began as a joke while I was still on LiveJournal, early 2000s. I was so Mad About Shit, that I felt like I needed a whole week to complain about Shit. To vent. Because if you don’t vent, you fucking explode. I haven’t observed it in quite some time; due to Current Events we are bringing it back. We’ll discuss anger management as well because… take care of your health, y’all. Being mad is all well and good, but you have to control it like a fire.

Don’t burn out. Take deep breaths. Mark your calendars.

A modified strip of Garfield sitting and declaring: Attention America! I am hereby declaring this week NATIONAL RAGE WEEK. This is the week for all you RAGIN' people to come out of the closet. Rage on and remember to self-soothe after venting.

And it’s now that I tell you that there is an entire list of pop culture holidays (and TV Tropes has some!) so you can discover some of your own! I definitely need to observe more of them.

  • National Grouch Day (Oct 15th, Sesame Street)
  • Summerween (June 22nd, Gravity Falls)
  • Life Day (Nov 17th, Star Wars)
  • K-Day (Aug 10th, Pacific Rim)
  • Hobbit Day (Sept 22nd, Lord of the Rings)
  • Halloween in January (Jan 31st, Bojack Horseman)
  • Galentine’s Day (Feb 15th, Parks and Recreation)
  • Fridge Day (Dec 25th, Dinosaurs)
  • Leap Day (Feb 29th, 30 Rock)

…Yeah, that was one rabbit hole I jumped into.

And there’s nothing stopping you from making up your own. For example, I just thought of "FUCK OFF WITH THE GUNS" Day (July 14th, Trailer Park Boys ep air date, quote from that guy that’s always yelling offscreen).

C’mon. Give it a try!

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On January 1st, I deleted Facebook and I couldn’t be happier.

But when you’re not on Meta, it can be isolating.

You’re at a party and everyone is happily trading Instagram profiles, and the only thing you could offer reliably is…

…

nothing, actually.

Only gamers seem to know about Discord, and getting people on Signal is still like pulling teeth. Even a phone number could miss– there are still people out there that don’t disclose it for privacy reasons.

That happened to me during another icebreaker. We were sitting next to each other and they beat me to it, asking for my Instagram handle first. Unfortunately, I don’t use it in that capacity (more on that later). We eventually came to a compromise: email addresses. It’s been two months since I sent the first one.

…I’ve yet to receive a reply.

At the next shindig my contact info was just a TinyURL. It has the online places I actually frequent and ways to contact me.

…No new friends (yet).

And I tried sending someone a link to my personal website.

…I uh, got blocked? But that happened only once.

There’s always a failure rate to these things.

When I take it personally: no one wants to meet me where I am.

But actually, I think: No one wants to leave Meta.

It’s convenient. It’s popular. It’s what we know. All the organizations and queer peers are on there. So that’s why I caved and made an Instagram account. Where there’s a lack of RSS feed or newsletter, it’s my last resort. And I still miss important updates because nothing’s chronological, I’m drowning in ads, suggestions keep pestering me, and the whole thing like the rest of the modern web is user hostile.

I fucking hate it.

I may delete it out of spite in six months.

But I’m used to not having Facebook in my life now, and for a digital diet I’ve filled it with other things: GroundNews, tiny forums, my projects, Mastodon, a lot of Discord. I’m even giving Friendica a try (it is largely neglected). I’ve my messaging apps that also have a web or desktop client for when I want to use a full keyboard– it’s easier on my hands.

I think I’m only lonely because I miss certain people.

But also, it’s been oddly freeing. Instead of all those 200 friends, I got my chosen family and fellow weirdos. And the occasional stranger that crosses my path, goes "what’s up, doc?" and if we keep bumping into each other we even become friends!

I think that trade-off is worth it.

In short, I’m the Odd One Out and I am solidly in my Cryptid Era.

Which, cool.

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“In what ways, large or small, did you armor yourself (i.e., set important boundaries) this month?”

It’s a silly thing, but significant to me.

Hanging out with friends at the coffee shop last night, we talked about cartoons (as nerds wont to do). I managed to find a really good essay about some aspects of this cartoon that we feverishly discussed. Problem was, it was the first half of an article series. I could not find "Part 2," anywhere, much as I tried. So, as if a white woman came into my sushi restaurant demanding a sword to Kill Bill, I broke my blood oath.

I dove back into tumblr.

To be fair, this was entirely my fault. I went looking to the place where I thought I’d find the missing piece I remembered reading, and it was… to be nice about it, a hive of a Star Wars Reference. So I wasn’t surprised that I ran into the messy stuff: drama, tea spilled, receipts, shots fired, strays caught, the whole shebang. What did (and it shouldn’t have, really) was all the stuff I was not familiar with– new to me. I lived through that clusterfuck, and only the start of it; clearly it carried on long after I bounced.

"Not today, Satan," I whispered as I closed all ten tabs of futile searching, "We’ll need to reschedule."

So, you can say that’s a boundary I set. I can do without drudging up old hurts and retraumatizing myself.

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Having a kiki with a friend while complaining about online dating, I decided to reactivate my OKCupid account.

Since we’re on a "what changed?" type of groove, let’s continue that trend. …Well, not much since I was last there. I didn’t take a terribly long time looking at my answers because of that. Same goes for my profile.

P-P-P-Profile?

Alright, copy-pasting paragraphs wholesale would be cheating on the Bloganuary. Besides, that stuff on my site anyway. Here’s some notable stuff:

  • Worst Quality: Organizing Things I Probably Shouldn’t
  • I have #NPCEnergy and I’ve really been leaning into it, to the point of startling people
  • I have no idea what to do on Friday nights; so it depends
  • The Good Place is my cheer-me-up show
  • Spyro the Dragon is the retro game that defines me
  • ROBOTECH defines my childhood. And on further reflection, Studio Ghibli perhaps.
  • Teebs is still the soundtrack of my life
  • Best part of cooking? The presentation. (and eating it)
  • Scrabble
  • also, #90sKid much nostalgia
  • also also, I love seafood and my steak medium-rare
  • Hej, I have tattoos now.

And I’m reminded of my dream job, aww

… I’m always interested in how information is displayed and how it can reach more people.

And fun fact: The highest match possible with me is 100%, and I have answered 220 questions publicly. I think that’s because a lot of my answers were "meh, whatever actually," and I just filled them in for fillin’ in’s sake.

What about the dating stuff?

I love a good coffee date. Or, as it’s been lately, a tea date. Boba tea date. It’s chill, a bit fun– but it’s still a date.

I want the comfy seats, giant menu, and acoustics that doesn’t make me feel like I need to run away screaming (unfortunately, a lot of coffee places have terrible acoustics). While I have some favorites I keep in the backpocket, if I’m feeling spicy I’ll flip a coin to take my date somewhere unfamiliar. If it’s great? GREAT! If it’s a bad miss, maybe we can bond over how much it sucked.

Give me the damn tea. What were the matches like?

Well… at least I can tweak things so only queer non-monogamous people show up in my stack. And most of them are also trans/non-binary!

First person in my stack was still a friggin’ white guy, tho.

Next was someone I already knew.

Next was a current partner. I sent them a super-like, because I’m supportive like that.

Everyone else? I didn’t feel confident in the OLD thing enough to do more than send two likes.

Well, that was fun. Deactivate, whatever.

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For Mastodon to not only supersede Twitter but to thrive in its own merit, it needs to not only listen to the vulnerable among us, but implement changes for a better Internet culture. The tools have been there, and so have been their highlighted shortcomings.

Now what will they make of it?Background Radiation

I wrote that about two years ago. And how are things now? Well…

The racism still persists.

Suggested features to further community have been ignored.

Concerns are met with a "just fork it yourself if you don’t like it."

Member safety is still an afterthought.

Onboarding isn’t intuitive, explained, or convenient enough.

So when Twitter finally pissed off enough people for a more permanent mass exodus, they all flocked to BlueSky– which is just Twitter with the future promise of ActivityPub integration. And has the same pitfalls, too, if the Singal situation is any indication. Some people (read: techbros) were flabbergasted at this development. I may have been angry at people for staying on BlueSky (and I still think I brought up a good point), but I still wasn’t surprised, really.

Mastodon, frankly, has done Jack and Shit to earn new user trust since 2022. It is an elitist project so narrow in scope that it doesn’t have room for improvements or user-friendly anything. It’s a reputation justly earned, in my opinion.

I remembered why I left Mastodon for the first time (around 2016? 2017?): it was not welcoming. It was gross. It was so Overwhelmingly White, the biggest Black-owned instance received so much vitriol for just existing. I went back to Twitter because it was, at least, the poison my body grew used to. And all my peers were there, anyway. But it was still toxic to me. When Muskadoo bought and reshaped that platform in his own image, only then I considered giving the fediverse another go.

You can say I’ve been advocating for the IndieWeb every since. Or at least diversifying your platforms. But for the people I was nigh insufferable about, pestering to get on Mastodon, because we need off those fucking platforms[1], because we need better for ourselves, damn it…

sorry.

But I’ve since outgrown that because… it’s hard to convince people when the new option is basically the Same Ol’ Shit– if not worse. The few that looked into Mastodon did not like what they saw, or shortly abandoned their accounts. It was true in 2017 and it is true now. I haven’t stopped recommending it as an option, but with a lot of caveats, guidelines, and invites to Actually Decent Servers due to my experience on the platform. And I am a lot quieter about it. Because it still sucks.

But why am I still there?

Because I curated my Mastodon space. I made it mine. With work, I found an instance I was happy with (and seemed stable enough to not shut down to the whims of a tantrum-ing admin)– their values and moderation concerns aligned with my own. This particular instance is also a fork of the official project, so we circumvent more of the troubling aspects. With this culture of stability ("echo chamber," ROFL) I was able to better connect with strangers on a genuine level, no matter how casual, and I’ve found myself among people determined to make online spaces accessible and safer for everyone.

I also block. A lot. The Block Game is strong.

And I remember more vividly when I came back. I logged into my .xyz account, and two familiar faces were still fighting the good fight. It showed me at at least somebody was giving a fuck, and I could learn how to be better.

So I stayed.

It took me years to get this content (enough).

Ideally, it shouldn’t have to take that long.

they obviously care if they are even bringing it up. be more concerned when people are silent!something I’ve said, about something else

[1] I still stand by this, but it’s not going to be easy. We may have to go as far as build what we want. Let’s take it one step at a time.

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Speaking of Decluttering, I need to sort through my bookmarks and see which ones are still active.

/gamegame/gamegamebegin.html

This was a Flash game, very artsy and scribbly, and while I was in college I’d play through it when I was feeling down. It kept me inspired and reminded me to stay weird.

This wasn’t the only entry in my Self-Care folder, residing on the bookmarks toolbar. It has been neglected, but only because I carry the self-care around in my phone these days.

Looking at Something

Neon Flames

You Feel Like Shit: An Interactive Self-Care Guide

Orisinal Games

25 Cheat Sheets For Taking Care Of Yourself Like A Damn Adult

Player 2

Therapist Aid (Account Required)

Weave Silk

Skeletor is Love

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You know those things that pop up when you visit a site, pestering you to sign up for their newsletter, or enable ads, or allow cookies, or create an account, or sign in, or just be a really big annoying ad?

They’re not technically pop-ups (they open within/on the page instead of a different window) so that makes it harder to circumvent. Fortunately there are extensions for that (if you’re not on Chrome, anyway) but some still require tweaking. Still a hassle.

It’s not off to the side where you can opt in to interacting with it– it’s gotta be front and center, taking up your attention and obscuring what you’re trying to do.

And if you’re really unlucky, you’re unable to dismiss it until you comply.

They’re aggravating and intrusive– unfortunately, perfect for marketing campaigns.

I would love to delete those off the face of the Internet landscape.

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I said I wasn’t gonna do this again.

But it doesn’t count if it’s unpolished.

It doesn’t count if the resources are right at the tip of my tongue.

But I think of these two groups I’m in, and how they are both failing me. Despite one’s best efforts, Redacted doesn’t want to bring their people into such an unwelcoming place. And the other, built from the ashes of something else, is faltering just like its predecessor because the lead lacks representation and different ways of seeing the world.

And a third, I fear, I would be deregulated to background noise because I frankly don’t have enough capital or experience.

How I, once again, just said "fuck it" and made my own space. It’s not giving up, yet it feels at odds with taking up space in these white spaces.

Maybe I should

just

stop

but i deserve to be there

so

i wont stop

https://oxford-review.com/the-oxford-review-dei-diversity-equity-and-inclusion-dictionary/double-consciousness-definition-and-explanation/

until

i do

So decipher this:

There is only one way to make your spaces diverse and welcoming enough for people of color to stick around.

It’s simple.

Make these spaces safe enough.

Have diverse admins, board members, friend groups.

Uplift the voices that aren’t yours.

Shoutout the places you know your PoC friends would be welcome. Boost their words. Highlight them. Don’t ignore them.

Listen. No platitudes, no explaining over, no compromising. No shuffling Everyone Else in a "QPOC" channel where anyone can shuffle in and make the space Unsafe.

Call that shit out. You see this shit?

https://archive.ph/scZ1b

Destroy it. Cast it into the fire. Stomp that shit out and don’t let it fester. Don’t be like Mastodon.

I see now, that I can be a lighthouse. If another Black person shows up, we can make eye contact and I can tell them they won’t be alone. I can point to where we can truly go. I’ve had decades of fly-in-milk experience, and I actually wouldn’t wish that on anyone despite being a vindictive monster. But still, I have to be there. And sometimes I am tired, because it is tiring.

Understand that I can’t always be there.

Understand that someone’ll be wary, even if I am there. Because I’ll be the only one.

Understand that there is a chance you’ll never see me again.

Quote Picard. Everyone loves to quote Picard.

But when I do reappear it will be demanding, aggressive: I am fucking here in spite of this. you will see me i am here too i deserve this too

And what else?

Educate yourself. Unpack your biases. Create the space you want to see.

Try. Keep trying. It’s ongoing, ever building. It is work to be anti-racist, and if you want to be safe enough, you will need to work for it.

And you still won’t be for everyone.

That’s all you can do.

…

But you want something more concrete, don’t you? Some stuff to read? Something to do?

Practical Diversity

The Token: Common Sense Ideas for Creating Diversity in Your Organization

…

who was this for?

me, mostly; as i grapple with double consciousness. express frustration. remind me of my resolve. what i can do. what i and others need, and provide it.

And I won’t be taking any questions.

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Oh yea, my recent post on Digital Security still has Protonmail as a recommendation for a more secure/private/not-gmail email.

I mean, it still has encryption and whatnot, so I guess it’s still secure.

But in the light of the CEO being the one of many to kiss tRump’s toes– despite claiming the project apolitical– some may want to give pause.