I said I wasn’t gonna do this again.

But it doesn’t count if it’s unpolished.

It doesn’t count if the resources are right at the tip of my tongue.

But I think of these two groups I’m in, and how they are both failing me. Despite one’s best efforts, Redacted doesn’t want to bring their people into such an unwelcoming place. And the other, built from the ashes of something else, is faltering just like its predecessor because the lead lacks representation and different ways of seeing the world.

And a third, I fear, I would be deregulated to background noise because I frankly don’t have enough capital or experience.

How I, once again, just said "fuck it" and made my own space. It’s not giving up, yet it feels at odds with taking up space in these white spaces.

Maybe I should

just

stop

but i deserve to be there

so

i wont stop

https://oxford-review.com/the-oxford-review-dei-diversity-equity-and-inclusion-dictionary/double-consciousness-definition-and-explanation/

until

i do

So decipher this:

There is only one way to make your spaces diverse and welcoming enough for people of color to stick around.

It’s simple.

Make these spaces safe enough.

Have diverse admins, board members, friend groups.

Uplift the voices that aren’t yours.

Shoutout the places you know your PoC friends would be welcome. Boost their words. Highlight them. Don’t ignore them.

Listen. No platitudes, no explaining over, no compromising. No shuffling Everyone Else in a "QPOC" channel where anyone can shuffle in and make the space Unsafe.

Call that shit out. You see this shit?

https://archive.ph/scZ1b

Destroy it. Cast it into the fire. Stomp that shit out and don’t let it fester. Don’t be like Mastodon.

I see now, that I can be a lighthouse. If another Black person shows up, we can make eye contact and I can tell them they won’t be alone. I can point to where we can truly go. I’ve had decades of fly-in-milk experience, and I actually wouldn’t wish that on anyone despite being a vindictive monster. But still, I have to be there. And sometimes I am tired, because it is tiring.

Understand that I can’t always be there.

Understand that someone’ll be wary, even if I am there. Because I’ll be the only one.

Understand that there is a chance you’ll never see me again.

Quote Picard. Everyone loves to quote Picard.

But when I do reappear it will be demanding, aggressive: I am fucking here in spite of this. you will see me i am here too i deserve this too

And what else?

Educate yourself. Unpack your biases. Create the space you want to see.

Try. Keep trying. It’s ongoing, ever building. It is work to be anti-racist, and if you want to be safe enough, you will need to work for it.

And you still won’t be for everyone.

That’s all you can do.

But you want something more concrete, don’t you? Some stuff to read? Something to do?

Practical Diversity

The Token: Common Sense Ideas for Creating Diversity in Your Organization

who was this for?

me, mostly; as i grapple with double consciousness. express frustration. remind me of my resolve. what i can do. what i and others need, and provide it.

And I won’t be taking any questions.

Remember a time when: you enjoyed a particularly delicious meal. Who was with you?

I have a few!

  1. The Cheesecake Factory with mom; I just graduated from college.
  2. Before that, a friend treated us all to this ritzy Irish pub uptown.
  3. I don’t remember, but jello shots in a pan were involved. And I put a bottle of Aristocrat under the sink where it belongs.
  4. Having deer meat chili at a friend’s when we stayed for the weekend.
  5. Chinese Hot Pot places, both on my birthday: surrounded by partners and loved ones. I love the communal aspect of it.
  6. The first meal we had in our place; after we all moved in together in our first house.
  7. Celebrating moving into our tiny apartment with fantastic Mexican food around the corner.
  8. Anything is delicious once you’re off the river from river tubing. Friends at the buffet or BBQ in someone’s house.
  9. Just me and my book, at a coffee place, with coffee and a yogurt thing.
  10. A crab boil at my mom’s.

I’m sure I got more.