A lot of folx have been asking me about the procedure, as well as what made me finalize my decision. I’ve written about the latter in detail already (and will link here), so I will focus on the day of. But in short, I decided to do this because of health issues, being childfree, gender affirmation, finally having the means, and timing. I finally have decent enough insurance (but even with insurance, it was over 5k USD!), and with our political climate and reproductive rights being threatened… I figured I better get this done while I still could.

So, after the cut, the details on how it went. Imagery of my insides included! Content warning for talking about surgery, body stuff, and graphic imagery.

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Before

Fortunately, I was the first operation on the schedule that day! I did not have to worry about delays; those can get pretty long and without food or drink, would’ve been harsh. The day before I had to do some things: stop eating after 10pm (8 hours before my operation), and only water and clear liquids (water, obviously, and gatorade [not red; looks too much like blood], and black coffee counts) until 2 hours before showtime.

My mom was my support and ride. Due to the anesthesia and surgery I won’t be able to drive. She picked me up at 4 in the morning because we both love being early to things. Doors didn’t open til 5am, so we spent time outside talking and vibing. After that, there was the usual check-in and waiting. Then the onboarding (where they read out the outstanding balance in front of my mother! "You didn’t hear that."), and waiting in another room. And then I was called to go to the back to get ready.

The nurse did the preliminary questionnaire, gathered a urine sample, took vitals, and we engaged in small talk. My jaw dropped when she had no idea what anime was (Dragonball and Sailor Moon, for reference). They also instructed me to wipe down with a coarse cleansing oversized wet wipe to sanitize my body for surgery– to reduce risk of infection– and put on the hospital gown and grippy socks (SCORE!).

I met some of the people that would be working on me that day. The anesthesia team introduced themselves, explained what they were doing and what was going to happen. In short, they were going to knock my ass out for the whole thing via general anesthesia. Which is good. You want that. You don’t want to feel the breathing tube protecting your airway, let alone the surgeon rummaging around your abdomen.

Then the nurse finished setting me up, complete with IV-on-the-hand, and I proceeded to be the biggest baby about it. Y’all THAT SHIT HURTED. I’D RATHER GET ANOTHER TATTOO (and I plan to). As of writing this the site is STILL sore, and it was 5 days ago! But the Bair Hugger system? Very good. It keeps you cool or warm by plugging its air hose into your hospital gown, and it helped me cool off and reduce my post-stick shakes. I do not handle needles well, especially if I haven’t eaten beforehand.

Mom was shown in and we chatted some more. She gathered my things together and texted my nesting partners (she had been keeping them updated through the whole process). The rest of TEAM UTERUS YEET came in: my surgeon and the nurses assisting her. She asked if I had any more questions, and I had just one– can I use the squatty potty post-op? (Yes. Thank fuck. For some reason I was hyperfocusing on that. I will blame the meds.) Everyone throughout was very nice and supportive, but it was here I remember the smiles being the biggest and the camaraderie being the strongest. We were excited, ready, and in great spirits!

Time was 6:40; we were only rolling 10 minutes late. That would have sent not-doped-up me into a tailspin.

And it went as the anesthesia team said: they put a bit more drugs into the IV, I was wheeled away to the oxygen mask in the operating room, they put it on me, and sliiiiiiiiiide to black.

After

I woke groggy, feeling like only minutes passed– but it was around 10am.

There were 2 phases, and this bit they may differ from your hospital. Phase 1 had me getting un-groggy, hydrate, eat some graham crackers, and take oxycodone for the incoming pain. Oh, and pester the poor nurse into raising and lowering my bed because I COULD NOT get comfortable. But eventually I was awake enough to be rolled into Phase 2; I was now sitting in a much more comfortable chair while a new nurse began the checkout process. The damn IV was finally removed and they gave me more water and crackers– which was greatly appreciated; I was HONGREY and wouldn’t shut up about Tropical Smoothie Cafe and air fryers.

In fact, I wouldn’t shut up! I talked to the P1 nurse. I tried to talk to other nurses. I tried to talk to the patient next to me who just had hernia surgery. I said "HI" with too much reverb as I was rolled around. I complained at how PAINFUL the IV was and easily the worst thing out of the whole experience. I wished I could take home the Bair Hugger. I talked about smoothies some more. By the time mom came in to see me I was pretty cheerful and telling corny jokes to our P2 nurse. (On a serious note, I was worried because I heard anesthesia sometimes made people mean. It’s good to know that I really am a silly bitch on the inside. It’s more fun anyway.)

We saw my surgeon for the last time that day. She told me how the procedure went (which was great, no complications!), gave a rundown of my medications post-op, more instruction on how to take care of my incisions, what to expect as I heal, and additional steps to take care of myself. But most importantly: rest.

And she gave me pictures of the procedure! That was neat to see; I’ve never seen my own insides, you know? Just medical illustrations and hasty doodles.

UPDATE 2024-12-17: I messed up some media files and had to tidy up some pages. Due to the graphic nature of this gallery, I opted to have it as its own page, which you can see here, aptly titled The Insides of Your Pal.

How eeeeeewww and pretty cool!

Afterward the nurse helped me get change back into my dress and had me use the restroom. A pad and disposable underwear were provided; they had to help me get them on since I couldn’t bend so much. Mom went to get the car and I was to meet her outside in a wheelchair.

The last nurse had to deal with my goofiness too. No one was safe. She was very considerate, and asked me to let her know if she was going too fast as she wheeled me to the front doors.

To which I replied, "No, go faster. I AM SPEED."

Recovery

Mom took me home after picking up the much coveted Chicken Caprese, Chia Banana Boost (with peanut butter) smoothie, and a snickerdoodle cookie the size of my hand. They recommended I only eat solid food when my stomach felt ready, but fortunately the nausea was minimal and I kept the smoothie down. I ate all of that… eventually. It took a few hours between naps.

I slept a lot and only tripped balls once– a moderate pain spike sometime that evening had me reaching for the oxy. What with watching the DJs on Twitch I had a pretty good weekend. Shoutout to spectracolor for being dope AF– I didn’t need the oxy by the time they aired, but it was a trippy ride regardless. Loved it!

Currently

The hysterectomy takes about 6 weeks to fully heal. When this is published I’ll be almost done with Week 1. Recovery is going well! No complications or weirdness.

During this staycation I am focusing on resting and playing with the cats when I’m not working on hobbies or watching drama shows. I’ve been walking to avoid blood clots and boredom.

And! Making sure I take the pain meds and peri-colace. The pain is manageable levels and being regular helps with the discomfort. And I’ll tell you what everyone has told me: the last thing you want to be, post-op, is constipated.

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And to end this story, here’s some cat pics to act as eyebleach!

That’s enough TMI for the day! And if you have any additional questions, the comment section is open below.