Cane Story
A funny thing happened to me as I limped 'round the pond.
Post physical therapy, I've been using my shiny cane a little less. But if I plan to be on my feet for several hours at a time, I bring it along. The hip does get tired and the limp becomes more pronounced, noticeable enough for strangers to point it out.
Day Two of a local arts festival had me already limping around: not only did I already do a once-over, but parking was pretty far. So I wasn't surprised when I made eye contact with a small lady who asked to pray over me. Not because of my usual demonic aura, but because of my mobility aid.
"I see you have a cane. Can I pray over you for your health?"
"I'm pretty healthy, considering. But you can pray over me for my continued health." Sure, why not? I'll take some extra good vibes or something. I was in a weirdly good mood; must've been the really nice weather.
So she does. She placed a hand on my shoulder (with permission first!) and did her thing. "Jesus cast the devil out of [them]," and all that. I got a business card for my trouble, and I tucked it away for a future prank against my fellow atheists.
Now, I was on this reconnaissance mission because I was on A Quest. Thanks to sharp eyes of my companion this day, I was able to obtain it: a hiking stick by the same artist of the beloved Stick I lost sometime last year. (Leaned it against a tree, I reckon, when I thought I returned it to the trunk of my car.) Was shorter, skinner, and I'm hoping the brilliant dyed shape will help me in not losing it this time.
By then, I had told the first half of this story. "And I bet they'll come up to you, now that you have the cane." Because you know, using a cane and hiking stick at once would've looked pretty silly. Not that my companion needed it, but she used the cane while I took the stick on its maiden voyage.
Sure enough.
We were looking at these stunning black-and-white photos of gnarly trees and their Spanish moss when the same small lady snuck around me, beelined for my companion, and almost word for word
"You have a cane. Can I pray over you today?"
I forgot to mention– these religious types tend to travel in pairs. Small Lady's partner-in-holy-crime apologetically asked, "Didn't we pray over you already?" To which I confirmed, barely containing a God Don't Like Ugly snicker.
Small Lady was rebuffed because my companion wouldn't entertain such... hands-on demonstrations of faith.
"You should pray for the world instead."
"Oh, we do," muttered Small Lady before floating off to subject more folks to her casual ableism. Once they were out of sight– but not out of earshot– we gave into the head-shakes and I indulged in a guffaw of "I fucking told you so."
You don't know what people are dealing with. You don't know who needs help, and who doesn't, just by looking at them. I can't distill it any more than that.
Oh, and I left that business card on my sibling's computer, the one with the anime succubus wallpaper. Because that's the kinda shit siblings do to each other.
