I’m the embodiment of this old vine: I am COMPLETELY GIVING UP.

It’s official. I’m capital D Done with online dating.

Sure, I’ve reduced my apps, but I was still feeling frustrated and convinced that I fucking suck. And on top of that, there’s dealing with the usual pitfalls of online dating like People (Mostly Men) Not Reading My Profile, One-Word Convos, and Weirdos in the Inbox– especially the ones that can’t seem to get my pronouns right. And then there’s all the things outside of my control like algorithms and paywalls.

I know it ain’t me… Mostly. I’m not perfect. Shit, maybe it is. I’m convinced that I’m not just cut out for online dating. Maybe I don’t have the extroverted personality for it. Maybe I am hideous and off-putting. The back of my brain is going what’s wrong with me?! Am I too something, and/or not enough something else?

It’s too fucking much.

It’s a gut punch when you have a great rapport with someone, and they just… stop. Out of all my dates and conversations, only one person had the decency to just send a text stating that she wasn’t feeling it. Everyone else never got back to me.

I get Ghosted.

The latest person to do so was someone I’ve been seeing for half a year. And it hurts extra because we bonded over our mutual dislike for getting ghosted on– and I still got done like that anyway. No closure, no reason, nothing.

Few things feel shittier than that. Something must be wrong with me. And that’s when I decided to throw in the towel.

And you know the wild thing about this? I’ve actually had successful dates. And each one was with a person who I was already interacting with in meatspace. So, fuck it: I’ll just stick to doin’ it Old School. My introverted socially anxious homebody ass will stumble through and figure it out. And if it is "just me"? Then I’ll work on myself. I should be doing that regardless.

For real.

I mean it.

I am done with the dating apps.

…

Until I’m bored. OKCupid still has all those fucking questions I haven’t answered.