What Happened?!

I was leaving my house for a date; we have holiday decorations up and a bat flew into my face. It could have been a bird, but it was dusk (peak bat time!) and we do have bats that like to hang around and eat bugs. Bat (or bird) was nesting in the wreath hanging in our front door. After a few hours worrying and waffling I decided to go to the ER.

How Did It Go?

The ER visit was surprisingly fast; two hours tops. A doctor came in, asked what happened, and gave his recommendation. While it was a low-risk incident for contacting rabies, undergoing the vaccination process was ultimately up to me. And I decided to– by the time this is posted, I’d have my last shot!

Wait, ‘Last’?

Yup. While they are no longer administered in the stomach, there’s still a bunch of shots over the course of a month! Specifically on “Day 0,” then on day 3, 7, 14, and 28. As of drafting out this post, my last shot will be in two weeks.

Day 0 was easily the most stressful! In addition to the anxiety of potential rabies exposure, the initialization was 4 shots– one for each arm and leg. However, subsequent visits were only 1 shot.

Anything Else Happened?

I also called 311 and spoke to Animal Control. Since they were unable to reach me by phone, they visited me while I was in the ER. I recounted my story and showed them footage from our doorbell camera. The officers were unable to say for sure if it was a bat or a bird, but did not deny the possibility of it being a bat.

What Did It Cost You?

I live in the United States, for the record. So far, my insurance managed to cover it.

OK, Tell Me Again, but Make It Entertaining.

Seriously?

Haha, yeah. I want those goofy details.

And onto the original draft.

Imagine: you have a date with someone you’ve been texting for months. You’ve had to cancel once already due to health issues, but you’re feeling good today! You got home at a reasonable time, you fed the cats with minimum explosions, took a shower, busted out the really good lotion, and already had your outfit picked out down to the underwear. You got enough money to pay for dinner and your gas tank is full. You’re even going to be a few minutes early! Things felt perfect.

Then you get a bat to the face.

Let me clarify: I mean the winged sort of bat; I wasn’t assaulted by Harley Quinn by dissing Poison Ivy (also, I would NEVER; also also, watch the animated series and read the comic tie-ins). I know it was fairly obvious which one I meant due to context clues but seriously, watch and read that good shit.

I ended up being a little late due to searching for any breaks of skin upon my face… it looked fine… My date reassured me that it was unlikely– because of course, my opener was “I think a bat flew into my face.” And to be fair, it could have very well been a bird nesting in our front door Christmas wreath. We eventually had other topics to grill each other about and good food to consume. It was out of my mind for a few hours and I may have even talked myself out of it.

But post-date, I reviewed the doorbell cam footage. Was that a wing of membrane or feather? Are bats that color? Did I hear a squeak? All I knew about rabies began playing in my mind– all the scary shit. My girlfriend reviewed the footage remotely. While I waited for her verdict I did some Googling. She texted back– probably a bat.

I thought of another date’s remark of “hey, a bat!” as they left my stoop only a week prior. And we do have bats in our area (and, legally, we could build a bat house in our backyard). I also thought of rabies’ 100% fatality rate, and how there are no symptoms so you’d have no idea you contacted it until it was too late. And I also thought of all the terrifying handbooks and flyers I packed for doctor’s offices, about the danger and likeliness of encountering rabies.

And like that, I talked myself right into it. “Well,” I texted the group chat, “It’s my turn to go into the ER I guess.”

A three minute drive and 10 minute wait later, I was in the back of the ER waiting for a physician.

My nerves were in shambles, and my continued mobile browsing certainly didn’t help matters. My county’s website was useless/broken, as usual (it kept redirecting to a not-rabies-related something-or-other), so my reading was from CDC and various online forums. Some things I learned:

• There are two types of rabies vaccinations: pre- and post-exposure.

  • Pre-exposure is for those that go caving or camp in areas of high bat population.
  • Pre-exposure is to buy you time to get the post-exposure vaccines.
  • Post-exposure is for when you’ve been bitten or scrached by an infected animal,
  • And are administered when you may have been exposed.
  • It’s best 10 days after you’ve been exposed.

• Rabies travels from the nervous system to your brain.
• You can be symptom-free for up to several years. Symptoms include:

  • headache
  • fever

  • nausea and vomiting
  • insomnia
  • being utterly terrified of everything and everything confuses you
  • and being mad about it (heightened aggression)

  • basically, your brain just fucking melts inflammation of the brain is the primary culprit.
  • fear of water, can’t even drink the stuff.

• Foaming-at-the-mouth further spreads the virus via saliva.
• Present on every continent except Antarctica.
• Some animals can’t are very unlikely to carry it due to low body temperature– like the possum.
• 100% fatality rate, and there is no cure.

(Kind of a glib summary, so for more detailed information go here. Also check out Rabies Watch.)

By the time the doctor came in, my mind was made up. As much as I was terrified of needles, I was terrified of rabies a lot more. Although the first question I asked was: do they still administer the vaccine through the stomach?

Well, no, but it was still A Lot: 1 shot for each limb.

The animal control officers were finally able to reach me; they met me in the ER– I had no phone reception to return their call. I gave them a recap of the incident and showed them the footage. While they suggested that it could’ve been a bird (“bats don’t normally roost in things,” or something to that effect), they assured me that I wasn’t being silly and I was doing the right thing by getting the shots. I was reassured at every turn, so that felt pretty nice.

I was discharged, given a paper for all the days I need to come in, went home, went to bed.

Cool. How do you feel now?

Much better. I’m glad I got the shots because I’ll be spending the rest of my life worrying when/if rabies would pop up.

I’ve also had no side effects or complications from the vaccines.

I can also joke about it now. I like biting people, so of course I had to get all my shots!

And I still like bats. They eat mosquitoes. But I’ve been poking the wreath with a long stick every time I approached it since this incident.

By the way, can you link that copypasta you keep mentioning?

No.

…

Date went well, thanks for asking!