23. A GIFT From Me?

I get a few comments (while offline, mind you) that I appear a lot more extroverted online than I do at the coffeeshop or someone's house party. Something like "oh, you're an ambivert then!" or (ugh) "You're really an extrovert, deep down!"

My knee-jerk reaction is to disabuse them of this. I've taken enough Toastmasters classes to fake it. Furthermore, interaction is still draining; it's just slowed when I'm enjoying myself. And heck, I've had actual rejuvenating conversations where I still needed solitude to process it.

So if I'm not an ambivert or extrovert-in-denial, then what am I once I log in?

...

Yeah. Still a fucking introvert. Surprise!

Needless to say I'm mystified as to how people come to that conclusion that I'm anything else.

VotL

I noticed that I have a different vibe or "Voice" depending on the medium.

Over here, right now? I call it my "outward voice." I'm speaking to you and I'm trying to stay coherent. I put in a ton of effort to tell you a thing (usually).

In other places (Dreamwidth, for example) I tend to be less direct; I'm mostly talking to myself, an informal journal thing. If I happen to post a lot, yeah, I guess that'd be outgoing, huh?

On forums... well, I'm there to converse! But unless I feel like I have something to say (or I allow myself one smartass quip, as a treat) I largely lurk and read (observe) what others have to say. Pretty much how I operate offline.

On microblogs/social media it's a combination of things, depending on my mood... and prone to stream-of-consciousness and shitposting. Out of all these mediums, it's a lot more extroverted-feeling than the others.

Unwrapping

For years I also chalked it up to having the GIFT, too.

For those that don't know, GIFT is "Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory" where someone gets anonymity and an audience and turns into a total prick. Or, at least, get a lot louder and showier than they'd normally would [sic] be offline.

And as I did a quick search engine search and come across rebuttals against GIFT, I'm starting to agree that this is no longer the main case anymore.

As facebook (and this account) proves, people are just fuckin' jerks (and also in my case get really passionate, ridiculous, and bombastic...) with their whole chest [whether someone was watching or not].

--my initial musings on it

First off, we know by now that some people are just fucking jerks whether its Firstname Lastname or xXx_NiceCock_xXx.

And... the more I thought about it, the less convinced that the GIFT applies to me. If it was true before, it isn't anymore as I'm considering it an outdated concept. Also, being in good enough company where you'll be called out on your bullshit will break the shitcock habit real fast.

Because

It's not anonymity that turns people into shitcocks, it's lack of consequences.

--someone said a decade ago, on yet another Reddit post

The Answer

Eh, something about writing/typing having less friction than talking. And then, being real excited and going on long tirades of things I enjoy. And also, what you see here (or there and there and there) is just the tip of the iceburg as the rest of it is under a rock.

The rock has decent Ethernet, but still.

Also, Toastmasters.