This summarizes what I’ve been going through with Pink Pistols and a local gaming group. I sent this as a DM to a mod upon their request. Just read this or catch up with the previous entries, who cares, everything is terrible, 1312, can i just fuck off now

I should name some names, yolo and all that. Expect jokes and teeshirts about this, because you know we queers gotta kiki through the pain.

Hej.

I’m disappointed that I haven’t been reached out to at all concerning any of this. It doesn’t help that there was no communication regarding my banning– I happened to find out only by trying to visit the server. Especially since I was one of the first (if not the first) person to get axed. And as one of the affected, I had no way to give my input unless I reached out to  staff– the onus on me to initiate. (Or I use a proxy to guilt y’all into messaging me first. 🙂 )

I don’t care if the ban is lifted- I was planning to leave not long after anyway. As Crybaby said, I haven’t been an active member in years and I realized the group doesn’t serve me any more.

This whole thing was an absolute shitshow that should not have escalated like this. I was willing to shut up and quietly leave when I was just told to "take it to the politics channel"– and I will note, while I didn’t have the nicest tone, I stopped when I was asked to.

I expected it to get swept under the rug as usual. I did not expect mass deletions, mutings, bannings, and the temper tantrum of an adult man who refuses to understand why people are upset. Many people voiced similar concerns after me– or reiterated past ones– and the retaliation they received was unacceptable and dangerous.

And it isn’t lost on me that most (if not all) of the people that spoke up and "handled" accordingly were transgender. And it’s not surprising that Redacted and I were labeled troublemakers… the two visibly BIPOC people.

I’m shocked, but only at the fact that there is still room in me to be disappointed. In the current political climate of our country, it is upsetting that, once again, trans people are sacrificed when the optics look bad on the white cis gay man running the show, Black people are scapegoated, and a space that should be safer for me… isn’t.

It won’t even consider doing the bare minimum of informed consent (and no, having a pinned message, a two-year-old thread you have to hunt for, or a passing comment from a snarky queer does not count).

[Group] dropped the T… [Trans-exclusive group], the instant it became too inconvenient to be associated with. He’d be threatening to for months, and this was a great excuse.

This is a lesson I learned a long time ago, and it’s a shame I’ll need to lean on it again. There has been too many colossal missteps in such a short amount of time, and what little trust I had in the local queer community has been irrevocably shattered.

I remember saying, "I want an apology." A real one, a humane(?) one. I wanted to be acknowledged explicitly that harm was done to me and other people.

But no one even bothered to reach out to me, or unban me. (I know in actuality it is A Lot to go through and fires to put out and crybaby messes to clean up, but it still hurts.)

Besides, the best apology is changed behavior. So do better.

Make some policy changes. Earn that trust again. If not from me, then from others that can still benefit from the group.

I don’t even know if I want a response any more. If there’s anything you’re going to say that I haven’t heard some variation of before– or if I’m even in the right headspace to receive it. So I’ll just leave the Switch in your dock.

Be seeing you.