TT: Introvert 101

This was an abandoned outline I put together with a friend, sometime before 2020. And then we got hit with a global pandemic and never got around to finishing it, let alone presenting it.

First off, let's introduce ourselves. We'll even go counter-clockwise to shake it up a little. I know a lot of people hate this part, so let's get it over with by being very quick: Name. Pronouns. Introvert, Extrovert or that Secret Third Thing?

I'm also compelled to mention how Selection Bias tends to do its thing. But remember: you're not alone, and it's never just you.

Let me play you a song. "Introvert Bars," by Mega Ran. This is to set the vibe.

Yo there’s a party going on the east side

call up the peeps get the car washed and we ride

cuz everybody’s gonna make it all the shakers and movers

the illest DJs too so dust off all your maneuvers

and Imma probably need to iron my shirt for this

use my shoes I reserve for church for this

gonna socialize till we suffocate

each a bunch of stuff I hate, then be ask for another plate

maybe get asked what I do for a living

tell em I rap, so they can produce me a rhythm

and make me rhyme on the spot, My favorite activity

yay! festivities....the captivity

they’ll tell a bunch of jokes, I’ll pretend to enjoy

and I'll be stuck in conversations that’d tend to avoid

sounds great, so I sigh and grab my coat,

the new book that I’m reading and I prepare to go...

about to turn off the lights and hit the TV

when across my screen, yo, what do I see?

Netflix ad, Daredevil’s out, the full season

this is pleasing... I don't think I'm leaving.

Oh, yeah. Shit. About Me Right Quick

Hullo, I am Albi (ey/em/eirs) and I am a proud introvert.

I am known to go on a tear about smallweb and obscure anime at the drop of a hat, can give a pretty good speech once I get up there, and I do love telling a good goofy story with hand dramatizations and everything. But I hate small talk. I am also never far from an exit and can pull off an impressive Irish Goodbye, French Leave, or Stealth Hi/Bye according to TVTropes (it's what Batman does). And I love, love, love my Alone Time (and no, that's not a masturbation joke). Give me a blanket in the woods and leave me alone.

What Introversion Is

History

• popularized through Carl Jung's work
• one of the four Myers-Briggs Types
• big 5 theory
• A scale: Introvert <-> Extrovert, people lean toward one and everyone has some degree of both

Typical Traits

• recharged by solitude, to process thoughts/emotions
• drained by interaction
• "thoughts" as opposed to "feelings"
• additionally, possibly:
  • quiet, reserved
  • can be introspective
  • not a fan of small talk

What It Isn't

Though, there can be overlaps. ex I am introverted and shy.

• shyness and/or timidness
• social anxiety
• that fancy word where you hate people (misanthropy)

Common Misconceptions

• Introverts can become extroverts with practice
  • everyone can benefit from Toastmasters
• Extroverts are more fun
• Introverts suck at anything related to people-ing
• Introverts do not need human interaction/community
• Introverts lack emotion
  • have you met me?
• Introverts have Deep Thoughts, All The Time
  • again– have you met me?
• are the mortal enemies of Extroverts, like cats and dogs

The Other Ones

Dunking on Extroverts

• Sike, there's enough of that going around. It's pretty tired.
  • that one quote: "why does everyone tell introverts to be more like extroverts but not the other way around?"
    • people love an entertainer (see misconceptions)
    • but telling people to "shut up" / shrink themselves is perilous; we don't do that here
• My experiences
  • were with people w/ neg or pos traits, not extroversion itself
  • but yes they do tend to adopt me at social functions :)

What About Ambiverts?

From my understanding, they've an equal(ish) balance or mix of introvert and extrovert traits.

We have even have some up in here! Hi!

I don't know much about them, other than it's a hotly contested topic. Some say it's redundant and unnecessary; others say otherwise.

regardlesss we gon' just move right along because idk wtf i'm talking about re: ambiverts

Science!

• physiology, how you respond to outside stimuli
• neurons
• ...I am out of my depth here

Pause: Audience Participation

Let's list some famous introverts! Maybe even... Guess the Introvert! We got... Lady Gaga, Elton John, Keanu Reeves, Michael Jordan, Rosa Parks, Dave Chappelle, Barack Obama. Does anyone else know any?

What examples do you have of introversion? And no, think of something else besides the wallflower-at-a-party example. We all know that one.

Practical Applications

Letting your introversion cut you off from what you want, is not caretaking.

--S.T., a friend

• Attachment theory
  • (this needs more looking into)
• Flirting and consent
  • don't assume dis/interest– just ask
  • there's like a quiz of some sort about flirting styles
    • My results as an introvert:
      • sincere (genuine emotional connection)
      • polite (building a connection slowly/respectfully)
      • ...this is just my demisexual ass with extra steps
      • in fact, why is this even here? Let's take out this quiz part.
• Interactions
  • yes, we can and will seek them
  • at our own pace/way/etc

Taking Care of Your Introvert

This advice isn't just for extroverts.

• check in on us sometimes
• don't force us to endure or do something
• empathy
• give space when asked

Taking Care of Yourself, An Introvert

• Balancing between needed social time and alone time
  • know your limits, honor your boundaries
  • yes! still try stuff but remember– you can always leave
  • there is nothing wrong with you
• JOMO and/or FOMO
  • Don't let Fear of Missing Out push you beyond what you are comfortable with
  • Joy of Missing Out is that sweet feeling of plans canceling or you just don't care to do a thing
• Solitude v Loneliness– recognize the difference
  • solitude: recharging, relaxing
  • loneliness: yearning, draining, negative
  • you need people, too

Pause: Audience Participation 2

If you consider yourself an extrovert: list an example of how to help your overwhelmed introvert friends.

If an introvert: what ways can you practice self-care?

If you're an ambivert, do whichever one you feel like doing. Or both!

Outro

And with that, we're wrapped up. You know where my socials are but if not, just check out my website or its TLDR version. G'wan, git.

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SIKE!! I'm fucking with you. This is a presentation; what's a presentation without Qs&As at the end? I won't be that blunt, but I will let y'all know when I'm ready to go.

If anyone has anything else to share, any burning questions or thoughts, let us hear them!

If you just wanna get the fuck out, that's so valid!

If we're feelin' it, we can definitely talk more in an informal setting, like over coffee/tea/drinks.

(Or, yanno, leave a comment below.)

Love y'all for real.