TT: A Parasocial Cringe DM

Not to be outdone by that random email I sent last year, it wasn't the first time I've done something like that.

Like, really really bond with a stranger to the point where I do the equivalent of dropping a note in their locker. That they rarely visited.

This was originally going to be a comment, but I felt shy at the last second. Also, it gets wordy!

I feel a litle better after reading your post. Specifically, the recent on for your 30 Days Meme.

I like hearing "coming out" or "how did you realize you were...?" stories because maybe I don't feel so weird? Or I can further flesh out my own. At first I chalked up my feelings to long-distance or inexperience. I felt like I was SUPPOSED to have only one lover, it's what's expected. Looking back I realize I was only going through the motions.

How did this come to a head? It was weird. My boyfriend at the time (and still is) had kept saying he didn't mind if I took a female lover.

And I considered it. And we talked about it. We're in an open relationship (well, semi-open; he still squicks when he imagines me with another man*). And it works for me.

I've just come to terms that I'm polyamorous on top of being pansexual. I'm also in a relationship with an understanding (and monogamous) man.

...Sorry for rambling at you, but it's nice to have someone to ramble to about this! And it should be talked a lot more! Thanks for reading, and once again, thanks for putting your story up.

*I don't mind the Girls Only rule too much, but what do you think of it?

First of all, lol.

It worked for me, and I didn't mind– until it didn't and I did. This will be thrice now that I've mentioned this very same relationship. What I tolerated then are things I would not tolerate now. (Applause as I refuse to give in and add a dig about cishet-men-in-general, but you know damn well I was thinking it.)

Second of all, lmao.

Who just does that? Get all up in the DMs with this sorta thing?

Well, uh. Me.

The person I sent the DM to candidly talked about being polyamorous and pansexual, and on the internet in 2010 it wasn't nearly talked about (or as visible?) as it was now. And she had the same little shame spiral I did when I was coming to terms with things.

So, no, that isn't the cringe part in retrospect. It was probably that big honkin' red flag that was the OPP. And honestly, that's the part that makes me cringe the hardest and hide under a desk.

Goes to show that I'm a better person now (usually), and have and will continue to make mistakes.

Some mistakes I'll never make again.

But I wonder how she's been doing.

I think I miss guestbooks.