You know what they say, “New Year, New Me!” I’ve stopped knocking people that say that, but I feel like that doesn’t fit me, personally. I like declaring “New Year, Same Me– with Improvements!” Or something equally corny.
And I figure it’s a good time as any to update my blog, yeah?
Queer Qwanzaa Reflection
I did not do a big ol’ post like I did last year– it’s very turned inward, in contrast, but it does incorporate into my New Year goals quite a bit.
I strive to improve on most common goals people set for this year: I really do need to work out more, and eat more vegetables; in general, improve my health especially in light of new chronic illnesses. And I’d like to cook more, especially! I have a few cookbooks with my name on them. And most of them are plant-based or vegetarian.
As for educational and career aspiration, I keep my skills sharp by practicing and keeping abreast on the new hot things like 11ty. For fun, I’m still on Glitch, and I’ve set up an obligatory Github account (but since design is my strength, I should look into something else?). Lately I’ve had the nostalgic urge to really kick it old school, so I finally dusted off my NeoCities account. One of the many personal projects I’m considering would definitely be a redesign of my current Link-in-Bio.
And oh, boy: this is also an election year. I’m prepared to call out misinformation and fascism. And I must be visible so people know that not only do I exist, but that it is possible to exist like this.
Social House
A friend of mine made a very poignant statement last month:
My resolution is to not be waiting at the door for people that’ll never arrive.
“J.J.”
I do need to start showing up for the people that value me as a person and worthy of their time, not ruminating over those that haven’t otherwise expressed interest in my life. I’ve talked about this before, and I’ve made note of the exceptions, but that is my biggest goal for this year.
That can get lonely. And, well, it is. But that is what community is for. I need to be more active in the safer spaces I am a member of. If I have the bandwidth, maybe find others to partake in.
The Fun Stuff
I got my work cut out for me.
I’m done a pretty good job journaling, but I can work on blog posts and telling y’all a little more about my life. I plan to utilize prompts a lot more! I am not terribly exciting most days (and, honestly, something I am grateful for) so I’ll need to be pointed in the write (ha ha ha ha) direction.
I’d like to improve my habit of doing writing things. I’ve signed up to Get Your Words Out this year, and I plan on participating in National Poetry Writing Month in April. 750 Words also has monthly challenges that I can consider.
But it’s not just outward voice bloggy posts. I’d like to work on more fiction. To get myself primed I’ve been dragging fanfiction out of the WIP folders and working on them. I’ve even cleaned up and ported some ancient stuff! Additionally additionally, maybe even put together a poetry book (Can you believe the thing I’m stuck on the most is having a freaking title!?).
Wanna write good? Read a lot.
A lot of writers, famous and otherwise
I want to be a better writer. So I’m making more time to read. I rediscovered my joy of just getting lost in books, and want to keep that feeling. With 200 books and stories between my eReader and To-Read pile on The Storygraph, I won’t have a shortage of material. It’s only a matter of what to read next.
And oh, to return to streaming and vtubing. I fell off near the end of last year, and I was just shy of the coveted 100 Followers on Twitch. I’ve received some additional stressors to my life, to put it simply, and had to take an unofficial hiatus. I am fine, and I will be fine, I just needed time to regroup. I’m trying not to beat myself up over it.
The Short of It
My goals aren’t the most lofty, but they mean a lot to me. While I’m doubling down on the Stuff I Need To Do, the mindfulness to not neglect hobbys and career advancement will keep me sane. Well, so I hope.
THE HOLIDAY KWANZAA is a product of creative cultural synthesis. That is to say, it is the product of critical selection and judicious mixture on several levels. First, Kwanzaa is a synthesis of both Continental African and Diasporanl (sic) African cultural elements. … Secondly, the Continental African components of Kwanzaa are a synthesis of various cultural values and practices from different Continental African peoples. … And finally, Kwanzaa is a synthesis in the sense that it is based, in both conception and self-conscious commitment, on tradition and reason.
https://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org
KuchuQwanzaa is in large part based on the traditional Kwanzaa holiday, but seeks to infuse queer ideology, principles, and values to establish a space for Black LGBTQIA+ folks to celebrate our unique culture, history, and contributions. In the spirit of inclusivity, we invite anyone who shares the core principles of KuchuQwanzaa to celebrate it.
https://www.kuchuqwanzaa.com/about
So after Christmas, we go straight into Kwanzaa. It begins on the 26th of December and it ends on New Year’s Day. Kwanzaa is a holiday created by a Black American man in order to celebrate our heritage, culture, and ancestors. In addition, KuchuQwanzaa was created with these same goals in mind, but to also honor our Black LGBTQ expression. Both incorporate libations, candles, gift giving and food.
For these seven days I reflect on the principles of Kwanzaa and KuchuQwanzaa. I think about what each means to me and how it manifests in my life, and how I can keep them in mind for the future.
(I have also tooted daily via Mastodon; you can check out the #AlbisKQwanzaa tag for the topmost posts for the longer threads.)
The First Day
Umoja
“Unity,” the Principle for the first day of Kwanzaa. This was an “easy” one to reflect on, and an excellent start to this holiday (considering how online I tend to be)… my immediate thought was BlackMastodon, BlackTwitter, BlackFediverse. We find each other and support each other, pushing back against the typical whiteness of most online platforms. As Twitter burns, it has been uplifting to see so many of us on Mastodon. I may stick around this time.
Imani
KuchuQwanza has two Principles on the first day: in addition to Umoja, it also has Imani, or “Faith.” My initial thought was to assume faith meant the religious sort, and I believe my initial thought to be erroneous. And if not, well– I’m not the religious sort anyway; I strive to at least be spiritual despite my casual relationship to it for the moment.
I have faith in myself (I generally do the right thing), my people (though, cynic that I am, my faith in people takes a hit when confronted with misogynoir and queerphobia– but is generally restored when it is called out and abolished), and the natural world. I also hope to honor my ancestors in how they interpreted the forces of nature and their gods, be it observing the holidays or practicing herbalism.
The Second Day
Kujichagulia
“Self-Determination,” or why I hate the “we don’t need labels!” or “we’re all human!” rhetoric. Our differences make us who we are, and labels can further define yourself on your own terms. I am Black, Queer, Transgender. Some labels are “given,” but I have chosen the rest.
I also reflect on the representation of our people, and not just us being mere “tokens.” I am here, and I exist, and you will hear me. Everyone contains multitudes and different aspects of themselves; Black people not a monolith. When Whoopi Goldberg saw Nichelle Nichols as Uhura on the screen, it opened so many possibilities for her. We can also be “these things,” despite the overculture trying to tell us otherwise. And that is still important today.
AFYA
The world is tough enough as it is, so we also have to take care of our bodies and mental health. I’m glad to see that the stigma for therapy and medication is waning– but we can still work on this. The queer community is still recovering from the AIDS crisis, and I still hear negative comments about getting help for what’s ailing your brain.
Get tested, and often, especially if you have multiple partners. Eat your vegetables, take walks, turn off the news and stop doomscrolling when it becomes too much. All these are things that I do within the KuchuQwanzaa Principle of AFYA, or “Health.”
The Third Day
Ujima
“Collective work and responsibility.” I’ll be very blunt here: If your pro-Blackness dehumanizes the further marginalized, it’s fucking trash. I also found it fitting that this was the day I discovered KuchuQwanzaa– LGBTQ voices and celebrations must be uplifted. This is our work, and our responsibility.
Nyumba
It literally means “house,” and houses, to me, mean family and community. Our relationships to each other help sustain us, past and present. Every interaction accumulates to a “I see you:” from The Nod as you walk past a stranger, to commenting support on a post, to giving your mom a call and (not maliciously!) pestering your sibling.
The Fourth Day
Ujamaa
Black Capitalism ain’t gonna save us– it’s still Capitalism. If we’re still trampling each other to make money, that is the capitalism machine working just as intended. Buy Black (sites like Miiriya makes this easier!), participate in mutual aid, gas up your friend’s Etsy shop!
Elima
I did not know about KuchuQwanzaa until this year! So, I found it fitting to mention that on the fourth day of this holiday– the Principle is Elimu, or Education. In a world where LGBTQ folks are still being persecuted, I find it very important to highlight not just our struggles, but to celebrate our contributions to communities and culture.
The Fifth Day
Nia
“Purpose.” I am reflecting on– what is my purpose in life? To be supportive, confounding, to call out bullshit, and eat cookies and cream ice cream, and to exist. It sounds pretty simple, but I’ve mostly made peace with the fact that I don’t need something grand for my day-to-day. And that is enough.
“Just existing” in each of our varied truths may not sound much for a purpose, but for Queer people it is the whole world. We have lives beyond someone else’s moral lesson, or a tragic Netflix movie, or a sensational headline.
I’ve also personal projects and yeah, that is purposeful. I have my writing and poetry– a good purpose, indeed! I am trying to get into more VTubing and gaming, too.
The Sixth Day
Kuumba
I’ll take this moment to talk about some of my favorite creative works.
Creativity begets more creativity and inspiration, and there’s something special about holding The Memory Librarian in my hands after the last word was read.
As I’ve mentioned in length in the post about my vtubing, I am a huge fan of Janelle Monae. Some other musicians that I have on repeat are:
Breezewax
Flying Lotus
Lalah Hathaway
Lil Nas X
Mega Ran
Princess Nokia
Sammus
And a lot of stuff from Back in the Day, like Living Color, The Isley Brothers, Toni Braxton, TLC…
And some of my favorite books are:
Anything by Nnedi Okorafor; her Binti series was my first read into her work.
How to be Black by Baratunde Thurston
Falling in Love with Hominids by Nalo Hopkinson
The Lilith’s Brood (aka Xenogenesis) series, also by Octavia E. Butler
Mind of my Mind (2nd in the Patternist series), also by Butler
Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor
SLAY by Brittney Morris (psst, you can play the game!)
TRIGGER by Venus Selenite
While we’re on the subject of books, The StoryGraph has Nadia Odunayo, a Black woman, as founder and CEO!
Sistah SciFi highlights science fiction from Black and Indigenous people.
I also have several pieces of art from GDBEE hanging around my room.
The Seventh Day
Dhidi Chuki and Kiasiasa Utambulisho
For Kwanzaa’s final day of celebration and reflection, we have Imani. Since I’ve reflected on it previously, I will focus on the two final principles for KuchuQwanzaa: “Against Hate” and “Politicized Identity.”
I walk into a room and I am assumed I’m “political” for just existing. So I might as well own that. Yup, I exist and I’m proud. AND WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT MY POLITICS ALL DAY, BABY. And hurt the feelings of Nazis and well-meaning allies in the process. Hate comes in all sorts of forms. Some are REALLY OBVIOUS, while others are more insidious and subtle. The ally that tells me to not be one of “those f-slurs?” They get binned. And the other one who shushes me when I say I’m Black and I’m Proud? Binned and set on fire.
I may not have much choice in how I’m politicalized, but I’ll be damned if someone thinks I’m “doing it wrong” and treat my existence as an inconvenience.
And that is all for my reflections for last year’s Kwanzaa and KuchuQwanzaa. I’d like to do the same for this year, and reflect again to see where I stand.
