Tag: humor

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Fun, excuse to be fun, fun fun fun, let’s get on with this silly list. You don’t need a whole paragraph explainin’ this shit, I don’t care what the SEO plugin says. pop culture

Revenge of the Fifth

When: May 5th, also May 6th if you’re extra evil

From: Star Wars

Nothing to see here. Cue hand thing.

Independence Day

When: July 4th

From: names-the-same-movie

Will Smith saved us from the aliens on this day!! Respect!!! He could have been at a BBQ!

Until America starts behaving I’m not celebrating that shit! Memorial Day and Juneteenth are more important to me, anyway.

Will Smith in the movie, captioned "4th of July, the day Will Smith saved us from the aliens.

Festivus

When: Dec. 23rd

From: Seinfield

I will have any, and I mean any, excuse to decorate with strange objects, complain, and straight up tackle someone. I also enjoy the anti-consumerism angle it could have.

Frank: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born.

Towel Day

When: May 25th

From: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

I was enamoured with this series when I stumbled upon it in my high school library. And, you know, knowing where your towel is actually good advice… and more relevant the older you get.

TOWEL.JPG is here. Do you know where your towel is?

National Lazy Week

When: Jan 5th to Jan 10th

From: Garfield

As the name suggests, it celebrated being lazy. Garfield Wiki

That’s a message I can get behind. Also, capitalism hates it when we’re lazy. Cue the memes!

Felix the cat napping on a ledge, thinking "I'm not lazy I just don't like making profits for capitalists..."

Fade in the Water Day

When: Aug 5th

From: IRL

Fade in the Water. ROLL (ed up in the) TIDE. The Alabama Sweet Tea Party. The Montgomery Massacre. The Riverboat Rumble. The Montgomery Melee.

No matter what they call it, Black people are talking about the big fight between a group of white men who attacked a Black dock worker and the Black people who swarmed in to defend him. NewsOne

I love us Blackfolx. We can make a holiday out of anything. And I live for this show of Black solidarity we were witness to on that fateful day in 2023. You fuck around, prepare to find the fuck out.

MtG card for the Folding Deck Chair, a Legendary Melee Weapon. Damage 5, Speed 2, Defense 3, Range 1. Increase damage by 3 percent to targets in water environments.

And then you got the ones where I just make up, or do something different.

Dick Plate in the Lake Day

When: Feb 28th

From: Xenosaga

Actually, this was already a thing as KOS-MOS’ Birthday. But I was grasping at something I can do for the Xenosaga franchise. My original idea leaned heavily on a fairly popular snark thing and… uh, let’s say the source material for that didn’t age well. Soooooo I decided to use the first game’s release date and uphold that instead. It’s safer. Makes me cringe less.

…and I still failed that Will Save Throw Whatever DnD Thing because it must be snarked. Dick jokes!! There is an uncomfortable amount of phallic imagery in that game! Dick. Jokes.

Enjoy the YouTube Video my settings Won’t Allow me to embed. Just as well, really.

Macross Day

When: Oct. 3rd (Series), July 21st (DYRL? movie)

From: Macross

Unfortunately, I’ve yet to come across the MM/DD of when the alien spaceship made a dent in the Earth (please comment if you did!). You know I’ll celebrate the airing of the first episode, and the option of one of my favorite movies as a bonus. Party twice! If you make a Mean Girls reference I will slap you and Tina Fey.

Misa slapping Hikaru, implying that I will slap you like that if you make a Mean Girls reference

Calypso’s Birthday

When: whenever the hell you want

From: Our Flag Means Death

I’ve only down here because I’ve yet to see it around, but it should totally be a thing! (And this shows that I’m not in the fandom… I should fix that?)

Anyway! Want to throw a party? Have that nagging feeling that you need a reason to have a party, but can’t think of one? Here it is. Just say it’s her birthday. She has a lot of birthdays. And no one really knows when her birthday actually is, so no one can call you out on it. It’s a perfect concept. … I mean yes I guess you can use the air date of that episode, but where’s the fun in that?!

Additionally, dress the part. That means D R A G, lovely!

One of the crewmembers dressed in drag as Calypso

National Rage Week

When: third week of September

From: Me! (and Garfield– title is totally shambling around in its National Fat Week corpse)

It began as a joke while I was still on LiveJournal, early 2000s. I was so Mad About Shit, that I felt like I needed a whole week to complain about Shit. To vent. Because if you don’t vent, you fucking explode. I haven’t observed it in quite some time; due to Current Events we are bringing it back. We’ll discuss anger management as well because… take care of your health, y’all. Being mad is all well and good, but you have to control it like a fire.

Don’t burn out. Take deep breaths. Mark your calendars.

A modified strip of Garfield sitting and declaring: Attention America! I am hereby declaring this week NATIONAL RAGE WEEK. This is the week for all you RAGIN' people to come out of the closet. Rage on and remember to self-soothe after venting.

And it’s now that I tell you that there is an entire list of pop culture holidays (and TV Tropes has some!) so you can discover some of your own! I definitely need to observe more of them.

  • National Grouch Day (Oct 15th, Sesame Street)
  • Summerween (June 22nd, Gravity Falls)
  • Life Day (Nov 17th, Star Wars)
  • K-Day (Aug 10th, Pacific Rim)
  • Hobbit Day (Sept 22nd, Lord of the Rings)
  • Halloween in January (Jan 31st, Bojack Horseman)
  • Galentine’s Day (Feb 15th, Parks and Recreation)
  • Fridge Day (Dec 25th, Dinosaurs)
  • Leap Day (Feb 29th, 30 Rock)

…Yeah, that was one rabbit hole I jumped into.

And there’s nothing stopping you from making up your own. For example, I just thought of "FUCK OFF WITH THE GUNS" Day (July 14th, Trailer Park Boys ep air date, quote from that guy that’s always yelling offscreen).

C’mon. Give it a try!

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This is what happens when you have a banger of an earworm in your head, insomnia, and you’re mad about something. So here is my parody to the tune of Chappell Roan’s "Good Luck, Babe!" Shoutout to the rhyming dictionary and a thesaurus, couldn’t have done this without you.

A Black femme-presenting person sitting and giving the side-eye. DELETE BABE is off to the side.
Stock Photo by OG Productionz

Resigned, abused
Community Standards insist I’m still unbruised
My data, misused
With Bortposting, cats, and celebs keeping me amused

I cannot just up and leave
How I’m gonna spam these memes?
I’m gonna stave off FOMO with passive scrolling

Chorus:
You can cuss out bigots every hour
Install plugins and adblock, use a dummy email
You can state a fact or just defend yourself
AI moderators throw you in FB Jail
Delete, babe! (Delete!)
Just delete, babe! (Delete it!)
You gotta gray your name to restore the feeling
Delete, babe! (Delete!)
Just delete, babe! (Delete it!)
You gotta gray your name to return to meaning

Who gives, a fuck?
Everything is there though viewing what you want takes luck
We are trapped, with this muck
This shit don’t help my depression, but our support network is stuck

Think I’ll finally just leave
Even though I’ll miss those memes
I just want true connection and stop this scrolling

(Chorus)

When you stay up with your phone through the hours of the night
With that glare in your eyes: cop blue with pound-six-F whites
And when you think about my sites, web two point oh
You flounder while I code, "I told you so"
I gave links to elsewhere, I told you so
I hate repeating myself, but: I told you so!

(Chorus)

You gotta gray your name to restore the feeling
You gotta gray your name to return to meaning
You gotta gray your name to restore the feeling

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After that depressing previous post, I could sure use a nice bowl of ramen right now. Just the classic Tonkotsu. It’s also cold out, so I’m leaning toward warm soupy things. Unfortunately, the ramen place that I loved to go to closed down when I wasn’t looking, so I’ll need to search for a new spot.

No, not Silverlake Ramen. It gets the job done, but it lacks a lot of the flavor ramen could have. I do love those lil pork buns tho.

oh… you said snack. In that case, I’ve been loving almond butter and apple slices lately. Or snack-sized ramen? Wait, maybe those pork buns. Or a red bean bun. Or–

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NICE TRY, WORDPRESS

You are totally not swiping my brilliant, one-of-a-kind, quirky, innovative, awesome, stupendous, and did-I-say-awesome-already? business idea! Get your own!

I just wanted to be silly. I actually have no ideas that are crazy businesses, feasible or otherwise.

Unless…

You count the [REDACTED] with the [REDACTED], complete with [TECHNICALLY LEGAL BUT STILL IN BAD FORM]. Even with [NOUN] you can [VERB] for cheap, there are the setbacks including [LIST THREE-TO-FIVE THINGS YOU HATE, AND IT CAN’T INCLUDE BEN STILLER].

Maybe I can have [FAMOUS PERSON I HAVE A CRUSH ON] endorse it. Or if I just had more [???????] on a [RANDOM TECHNICALITY]. And I’d call it [HIGH-SCORING SCRABBLE WORD THAT ALSO DOUBLES AS AN ACRONYM].

…Of course they’ll be some [TECHNOLOGY CATEGORY]. But with [BEVERAGE]! And no, it’s not a [WEIRD SEX THING]! You perverts!

Anyway. It’s just fun to think about.

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So anyway. I love being silly. There is no intro paragraph and I’m not gonna hit you with the Thesis/Main Idea and Three Reasons Why. I’m not going to drag this out with citations and lengthy examples (okay, maybe some examples). I’m just going to braindump on why I enjoy being so damn silly and preface a codifier with a question that has haunted me since middle school:

What's Normal Anyway?
Read the webcomic about being a trans man, or even better, buy the book! 

Everyone’s "normal" is different, when they’re not confusing it with other words like "standard," "straight," "middle," and "white." Sorry for getting political (end sarcasm; I ain’t fucking sorry), but you pick up the shorthand if you stick around long enough. Lemme tell you (in my opinion, but I am stating it as an absolute fact!):


It’s some boring shit! Normal is conforming. Normal is what’s expected. Normal votes red or blue. Normal is binary, has rules and criteria, and other things that feel dull and uninspired. Normal is alla that.


Until it isn’t.

Two panels from a Penny and Angie page; Mary-Ann is diffusing a tense teen situation by cracking jokes, causing Michelle to laugh. KatyAnn: Are shawls... schmalz? Michelle: Pff ff ff ff ff ... Do you work at being this weird? KatyAnn: It's God's gift. I have the frock of mockery. In the second panel KatyAnn also has a halo while she sticks her tongue out, smiling. Two angelic smiley faces float above her head, too.
This pink-haired white girl and her lines here live rent free in my head.

My normal can be different from the normal of someone else. My normal can involve the pills I need to take and how many ants I see in my windowsill (which should be ZERO). My normal also includes a daily joke in my morning routine and sending memes to my loved ones. My normal is non-sequiturs that only make sense to me– sometimes. I dance in my chair. I say goofy things to take my coworkers off-guard. I have the same three tired jokes in rotation but damn it, they are played out for a reason!


How did the fire fall in love? It met its match! While you groan at that one, rethink normal and be weird. Or is weird the normal? Meditate on that!


"Why are you like this?!" My nesting partners exclaim when I set down a large shriveled seed of some sort onto their belly button as they mind their own damn business.


Because it’s fun, duh.


And, sure, to be serious a moment (just one), it could be a defense mechanism of some sort. Obligatory "was the weird kid in high school" (ask "M," we kicked trees during our lunch break). I definitely leaned into it the older I grew and… at some point, you realize that being weird is pretty okay. Even better when you find a support network with a bunch of other weirdos. One person’s weird is another person’s normal, and vise versa.


You know those old folks who do weird shit and just don’t give a fuck? That is real. But why wait? Be weird now. Be silly. Or… I dare say… you can even dare to be stupid.


You know the song! It was even featured in my favorite toy commercial, that 80s Transformers movie. At some point the cast was moping around until this mustached robot weirdo of a self-insert character pops out of the wreckage and distracts them with a cycle brawl– with, I assume, that song blaring out of his speakers– until Hot Rod showed up and started to speak his language because he’s also a goofy bitch. The punches died down, everyone eventually made up, the Optimus Replacement got put together, and with their powers combined they rocket off that junk planet once they were done dancing on it.


Weird Al (Wreck-Gar) and Hot Rod swapping Energon rocks.
A Genius annotation stating the obvious: Weird Al is telling you to do stupid stuff.

So, it’s also kinda like that. I guess.


Maybe I can…


    • bring a smile (or grimace) to someone’s face,


    • diffuse a weird and tense situation (by just making it weird),


    • defang bigots (putting the demon in Pride Month),


    • be the kid I never got around to being, and to be the kid that I was,


    • make the child across the aisle giggle.



When I can can, when I want to, I be silly and smile about it. Because holy shit, do we have a lot to frown about lately. So Imma dance a bit, draw hearts on my face, then get to work putting a spaceship together out of wreckage and stuff.


Or, you know, just because. No reason. Don’t think about it, Morty.


…


I’m still leaving a tip when I get sushi, though. You wrong for that one, Al.

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Damn, this is embarassing that I still can’t spell embarrassing. Nevertheless, I’m still glad I found this draft just bumbling about when I was switching from Evernote to Joplin. I wouldn’t shut up about this science fiction series and my nesting partner finally picked it up: Remembrance of Earth’s Past by Liu Cixin.


I threatened him with My Thoughts on The Third Book once he was finished. And yo did I have some feelings about it. So here they are! With minimal editing since I wanted to preserve as much as my initial thoughts as possible. This series– and the fourth book, when did that happen!? That’s amazing!– requires a (re)read as well.


OK. There’s some editing: I added memes. THERE’S ALSO SPOILERS.


EDIT: One more thing, actually.


I never posted this on Bookreads because there were waaaaaay too many sexism-apologist scifi bros being lil shits. So this was tucked away in my Evernote and rattled about. Until now.

But yeah, right at the jump: if you don’t agree with my read on this book, I don’t care. … Don’t bother engaging; I’ll just mock the shit outta you.

(“Hmm. Should put that disclaimer in my entry.”)


So. There’s spoilers and silliness.

She Hulk flexing and yelling LET'S GOOOOOO!
HOLD ON

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