OK, Fine, let's give them another go.

Online Dating ("OLD") is universally frustrating for everyone involved. It's already hard enough just being human and meeting new people– any issues relating to that are not only exacerbated, most of these apps pull every dirty dark pattern trick in the book to keep you scrolling... because they're not just happy with your money.

The Story So Far

To date, I have tried– and briefly reconsidered:

• hashtag-open: ghost town, so no
• HER: no (UHs and transphobes ruined it)
• Hinge: nah
• OKC: spent literal years on my profile, only for no one to bother reading it? nah.
• Feeld: fuck no; disappointment in a bottle
• Bumble. Bumbl? idk but no probably
• Tinder: banned
• Qutie: dead
• that one dating site that was in beta and had transphobic bullshit required for their profiles: I hope they're dead, and they're probably are; fuck 'em.
• various other ones that no longer exist: can't, obvs; pour one out for Thurst

Then one of my partners suggested Taimi. I've actually tried it before, but it was during a time where I was just burnt the fuck out of dating apps. I deleted it within a week. Then, months later– fast forward to now– I've reinstalled.

And, well. It's an app. It works (as in, not full of bugs or crashes). There's a ton of QTs on there. I'm apparently getting likes and stuff.

And Then T"AI"mi Became A Non-Starter

I'd find a way to show PROOF (the app, understandably, blocks you from taking screenshots of it), but if you use it for more than five minutes, you'll see it for yourself: Taimi also uses AI bullshit.

It does stuff like "auto-like" (why would I want that?) and "auto-ping," (why?!) which supposedly "likes" your "type" for faster matches and sends a short message to revive inactive chats, respectively. And those messages are really short. The kind I hate sending and hate receiving even more.

"hey"

"how r u?"

"you r cute"

If the chat is dead and I'd like to revive it, I'm going to– and you should too!– put in a bit more effort than that, don'tcha think?

and you know, people opt-in for that sorta thing. And I range from annoyance to disdain to outright contempt for people that use AI. I know, I know, some folx just don't know any better. But it's kinda insulting to know that the next "hey" I get is not only lazy, but probably automated and lazy.

Like, the fuck. If we can't even put in the effort we want into this shit, then what the fuck are we even doing here.

I'm tired, boss. As you know. I'm going to look at every program or project with "ai" anywhere in its name with suspicion now. Cue X-files theme. And that quote about it not really being paranoia if they are out to get you(r data).

It does other annoying crap, which I assume is more background algorithm nonsense. No matter how many times I've tweaked my filters, deliberately, within 3 profiles I get a cheeky message declaring that Taimi was oh so nice enough to automatically expand my filters– but I can change it back anytime! I do. And then it happens again. Rinse, repeat, and I can't seem to get it to stop doing that. It's exhausting, when that isn't drowning you in phantom notifications to make you think there's a new message.

So, yeah. Nevermind about Taimi.

I fucking hated it, and this time I deleted my account.

The Only Two Apps I Ever Recommend Anymore

At the end of the day, I find myself still on Lex and Freddie. Those two apps are queer as fuck from the jump. They're also admittedly more social/community-focused, but do allow/encourage lil "Classified" ads if you're lookin'. Also shitposts.

There's groups and seeing other people's posts and communities and happenings going around your neck of the woods. Things like that are the reason why it's a bit tougher to find "matches" on those two, is my guess. Capital D Dating isn't the primary focus. And I'm okay with that, since all the other apps just make me more miserable.

I've long suspected that these dating apps just make me miserable, in general. I had a whole section on further reflection of this sorta thing, but it basically boils down to sometimes it's them, or it's me, or it just didn't work out.

But I will say...I do wish there was a "I'm not interested personally but your profile is pretty fucking awesome" option or just general, like, idk, "kudos" or something. I hope we all find what we're looking for. Like--

The End of this Post

...But at least I've met another Legend of Dragoon fan in the wild, so being on Taimi wasn't a total bust.

Until next time, when I'm inevitably bored and want to feel even sorrier for myself and re-install one of these fucking things (except Taimi). See y'all on Hinge in a few months!

P.S. I heard OKC sucks now. I'll check that out when I'm particularly depressed.