Oh, it's Blaugust.

And just like that, another fun blog thing is upon us, and I have to update my word count for Get Your Words Out. Will I make a post every day, for Blaugust? Well, obviously not; I'm already behind. But At least I have been writing– journaling, for me. So at least I have that habit. Keeping track of the actual word count per day, on the other hand...

I have been, "going through it," as the kids say, so I have withdrawn and haven't been much Outward lately (but oh boy, there were still signs).

Life has gone on, I have done fun things. And I have done– and will do more– difficult things. I also have so much fun to look forward to.

There will still be dancing.

There will still be traveling.

There will still be friends, family, and community.

I will have tea.

I will have sushi dates.

I will text people when their Discord accounts have been hacked.

I will also feel what I need to.

1: What Am I Looking Forward To?

My birthday month. I've been having a rough one, and I have moved from "okay, feel the smaller feelings first" to "okay, now make sure you're not succumbing to numbness." While I have been making space for every emotion I've been feeling, a birthday is a great reason to just cut loose. It's my party and I'll cry break stuff if I want to.

Going to more conventions. With a lot of help, I was able to keep my original plan of going to Tekko Con this year! I had a lot of fun joining the panels, playing DDR until my feet hurt (more), and just being around a whole bunch of passionate fellow nerds geeking out over all sorts of stuff. And The Ribbon Game. Oh, that was so fun. (Re: Tekko, it had been overshadowed by, well, unpleasantness. I'm slowly coming into a better headspace, so expect a more fun update soon.)

Posting (or working on) some drafts. I have a coupla big thoughts/not-review/summary of some media I've been getting into.

Pride Stuff because our city is weird and has our Pride festivities in August. Needless to say I'll be most active at morning and night, and not when the sun is blazing and trying to kill us all.

Touching Grass it was finally cool enough two days in a row I am going outside damn it

2: Picking Up The Pieces

"It really feels like my life has been ruined."

And yet, I've been feeling (cautiously) a little better. There isn't the overwhelming despair and my depression is starting to even out to its baseline; things are now... Odd. They're not going to be the same, and I'm figuring out what the new normal is to be... and how I'll need to obtain it.

I don't know what the overall shape of things are going to look like, but we always figure it out, don't we?

3: A Few Things I Ate

• apple snails... actually not a fan.
• crab chips... that are literal crabs, not just crab-flavored. They're mini crabs. I cannot stop eating these. (And once you get over the fact that you're eating shell, they are quite tasty!)

5 (future): Tomorrow's Post

I don't know. I'll look at a prompt list somewhere to get things jogged along. Or even better... just go easy on myself. I'm just happy to see #Blaugust is a thing!

And an early Happy Fade in the Water Day.

4: And What About Today?

Today, Again. I don't know; I just have Meishi Smile's "...Belong" album on repeat. It has been hitting all my emotional beats the last few months. Especially the angry ones.

That is all.