Hit the Ground (i just wanted a burger)

Content Warning: gun, firearms; discussion of witnessing such.

I just wanted a burger.
When the car crash and gunshots raged
Someone shouted for us to get down.
Then,
I just wanted to live.

The breath gone from me
As my belongings were forgotten and
Suddenly I wasn't cold anymore;
The jacket fell without me in it.

I scrambled away, from the outside, keeping low,
Screaming at myself not to stand
From the years of drills when dealing with guns.
Just survive.
The other patrons and I
Stared at each other
Checking for wine-red blooms and shock.

Together, we got inside.
We went in further to the office where
Hopefully there's enough material to stop any bullets.
My range instructors demand that I think about that sort of thing
When I'm firing.
A lot of things are made fragile when they're forced to try and stop a bullet.

Adrenaline shook through me and then relief
As the person who told me
"go ahead just leave me here"
Managed to make it in, too, just by the door.

But we heard nothing else.
I didn't stop myself from rubbing a complete stranger's back
As she hyperventilated with her granddaughter by her side.
All I could think of was

we are scared

but we are still here

everyone was here

And eventually we got the all clear
With permission to gather our belongings
And settle out our checks and tabs

Except me,
Who hadn't even had an appetizer yet,
Just water I was about to sip once I settled into my book.
I couldn't even do that.

Later, I only ate something
Because I needed to
And I couldn't finish ordering
Because there was no normal after that.

On that side of town,
I squeezed through the one-way blockade
(People did have to leave the restaurant, after all,
and what could I have witnessed
while on the floor
crawling for my life?).
I went to the place of solace and community,
Where there's also an inner office
And a hug
And the feeling of safety I had to regain.