4th

Usually I'm all about the bare minimum of setting things on fire (or fireworks), getting drunk, and throwing some beef bullshit on a grill. I was never one for all that gross patriotism with the flags and USA is Gr8 stuff, anyway. But I can't bring myself to do it this year.

The 4th of July was always like Thanksgiving for me-- it's not a holiday for me or my people, not really. It was just another day to celebrate surviving this fucking farce of a country with the people you love, in spite of it doing its very best to kill you. Another passive day, just slightly different. Probably more food.

I just can't see the little good in our country today.

And I just cannot muster the strength to even acknowledge my strength that got me here today. Because I am so, so fucking tired. The feeling of "it does not get better" is beginning to seep into my bones. It may very well be there already.

So, yeah. My cynicism and depression are too high today, and the constant background-process grieving is too much to be distracted by sparklers. I'm sure y'all understand.

Now go and read Frederick Douglass' speech about the 4th of July. This is all I got.